glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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