I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
