Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize