im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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