Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
