it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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