i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
