Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
