oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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