I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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