Plan B is the new Plan A
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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