There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize