you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I have post one night stand depression
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