I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize
