she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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