He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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