it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
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eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
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i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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