omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
