This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize