It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
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Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
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apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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