look no pants
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
