worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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