i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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