Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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