these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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