Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
