I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize