Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
sex in a hospital.. check
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
