Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
