I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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