mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
