I heard we made out
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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