I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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