You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
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dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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