I accidentally burped into my bong.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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