Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
