I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
