He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
