Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
