The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize