You're completely useless in the revolution.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
