It was confusing and full of hummus
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
