I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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