Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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