Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Your cock deserves a montage
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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