So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
