Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
