so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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