Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
