I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
