Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
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