I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
