Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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