then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
