The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm at about main and main street
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize