HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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