what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
