The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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