I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
