Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
